I was reading through some of your questions and was relieved to find one that really hit home. My daughter is nine years old and in the 4th grade. She is a bright and beautiful child. She has many friends and is involved in many things outside of school. However, we are experiencing a problem both in school and at home. The problem is that she cannot stay focused on her tasks at hand. Whether it be homework or a chore she is asked to do. Anything that distracts her pulls her away. At times, no distractions are needed, she just begins daydreaming and she is lost. It is truly beginning to be a big problem.

Our daughter has always been a bit like this from 1st grade through her current grade. However, it is getting persistently worse. It is starting to cause problems at home because it is a constant battle to get her to do her homework. Things that should take her half an hour, take her several. Even if we give her goals or time deadlines, she can't seem to accomplish them. Inevitably, she ends up crying and her father and I very frustrated.

We have gone in to speak with her teacher. She is a wonderful woman that has made efforts to keep our daughter in a seat that puts her right up front, forced to listen. She mentioned that she notices that our daughter does tend to get lost in her own world, or will seem as if she listens to directions, will not pose a question when asked if she understands, but yet, come up to the teacher to find out what she should do.

We have agreed to have the school psychologist come in to observe her and have set realistic goals with rewards for her at both home and school. I am wondering if, she could have a form of ADD (mentioned in one of your Q & A areas, "the quieter one")? Or if she could possibly have an audio/processing problem.

We do not want to put her on drugs, but prefer to work with her to overcome this, if that is possible. Any advice would be much appreciated.

You have taken a great first step by asking for the school psychologist to come in and observe your daughter in order to make suggestions on how to improve her educational learning. Until then, why don’t you talk to your pediatrician about your daughters issues and have her take specific tests, in order to either rule out certain disorders or to establish the exact problem. You can have a test for A.D.D. (as well as other disorders) and she should also have her hearing and sight checked. If you find out that your daughter has some form of A.D.D, then there are programs in place that teach children how to deal with their specific problems, which can be an alternative to medicine. These are wonderful support groups as well as a place that can teach your daughter specific skills that can be applied in the real world. I understand that it is frustrating when it seems that your daughter can’t seem to accomplish simple tasks without a ton of effort , however the only way to get help is by having tests done, constantly communicating with the school and if need be, having some consequences and positive behaviour strategies in place. Most of all, make sure that you and your husband continue to show your daughter that you understand her difficulties and that you will all need to work through the these issues together as a family. Best of luck.