Parenting
a child with ADD/LD without effective parenting skills can be
a nightmare. Without
proper knowledge of the disorders or the strategies and techniques
to improve your role, you can become overwhelmed and emotionally
stressed. This sets
up a troublesome cycle between you and your child, as behavioral
problems result. It
is of the utmost importance to keep in mind that behavior actually
represents feelings. How
your child feels will be exhibited by his behavior.
By acquiring proper education about ADD/LD, this cycle
can be understood and positive interventions can be implemented.
The
success of your child begins with you, the parent, as your relationship
is THE most powerful tool. Itsï
foundation begins at home with the loving supportive values that
enable your child to maintain his self-esteem and self-worth.
This relationship between you and your child is far more
critical and powerful than any relationship your child could establish
with a teacher or helping professional.
It is important to continuously nurture and nourish the
warmth of this relationship.
Parenting effectively begins with the understanding of
the many issues of this disorder.
It is of the utmost importance that parents begin to acquire
an important essential skill, which will save much ware and tear
for both you and your child.
Let me share it with you.
MAKING THE DISTINCTION
BETWEEN INCOMPETENT AND NONCOMPLIANT BEHAVIOR.
- INCOMPETENCE
results when your child does not have the ability to do it differently.
An example of this is when you give your child instructions
to get his hat, coat and football.
He returns with only his hat.
This action is not done to intentionally aggravate you,
even though many times the parent feels like it is.
He simply cannot remember three commands.
He needs the task to be simplified.
Incompetence needs to be educated and guided, not ignored
or punished.
- NONCOMPLIANCE
results when your child makes a conscious choice to do it differently.
An example of this is the child, who when asked to take
his feet off the table refuses and says Ämake me¥.
Now this is the time to implement a consequence, as this
behavior needs to be punished.
But it is crucial to modify the kinds of consequences
you do.
In
our parent education groups, you will develop skills to enable
you not only to parent, advocate and educate, but to appreciate,
validate and support your child.
The key ingredients for the success of your child are parenting
effectively with love and logic, acquiring essential skills and
nurturing the warmth of the relationship.
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