Hot Topics - YikesKids.com!

CONFLICT AND POWER STRUGGLES AT HOME

Conflict exists in all families. Healthy family relationships depend on how conflicts are resolved in the home.

WHAT IS CONFLICT?

Conflict is a struggle between two parties when their needs or wants are different.

FACTS ABOUT CONFLICT

It happens in all families.
It is a healthy part of development.
It involves communication and can be verbal or non-verbal or physical.
It involves a collision of goals – yours and your child’s.
It can arouse an angry emotional response.

UNDERSTANDING ANGER

Anger is neither good nor bad.
Anger is often combined with other emotions like hurt, jealousy, anxiety, low self-esteem, powerlessness, frustration, irritability and depression.
It is a defensive reaction that occurs when we are frustrated, threatened, attacked or our desires are blocked.
When we are angry, there is a physical change in our brain chemistry that affects our ability to think clearly.
Anger is more easily induced when we are stressed.

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH CONFLICT?

It is important for parents to manage their own anger because they are the most important role model in their child’s life.

GOOD CONFLICT RESOLUTION LEADS TO…

A child with good self-esteem.
A better understanding of both issues and people.
Increased motivation to grow and develop into a well-rounded person.
A child is more able to be assertive and stand up to their peers.
Open communication, which allows all family members to share their opinions and feelings leading to a closer family.

TOP 10 STATEGIES YOU CAN USE TODAY TO RESOLVE FAMILY CONFLICTS

·Recognize that you are angry.
·If you are angry, take some time to think and cool down before you discuss the issue.
·Define and clarify the problem.
· Is it negotiable? If it is not, state this as soon as possible and remember what it was like for you when you were a child.
·Talk in a calm voice and use “I” messages.
·Use active listening; repeat the key ideas to ensure that you are understanding your child’s point of view.
·Be aware of your body language; avoid finger pointing, aggressive gestures, and facial expressions.
·Teach your children to apologize by apologizing sincerely to them when you are wrong.
·Use humor to lighten the situation, but ensure that your child does not think that you are laughing at him/her.
·Creating a “win – win” situation is always the best resolution.

“ANGER BUILDS ON ANGER”
(Goleman 1995)
This article was a joint project of AMCAL FAMILY SERVICES and the QUEBEC HOME AND SCHOOL ASSOCIATIONS.

Hot Topics

Link to Us!