Day to day interaction with a lot many parents and educationalists
reflect the child psychological concerns. Parenting & Teaching
is an experience that provides opportunities for them to discover
themselves too. It revives the memories of the childhood, the
joys and sorrows, the ups and downs and all the experiences
that shaped their future. Adults play a major role in promoting
physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual well being of
a child. Teaching your child the value of telling the truth
takes time, teaching and patience. It is important to set the
six ‘Universal Truths’ to Teach your children to avoid
the embarrassing consequences as they struggle their way to
face the challenges.
1. Teach the child to Believe in God & Believe in the things
he can do.
2. Creating a better Bond with children. Show acceptance, participate
in child’s life, demonstrate love, appreciate them &
above all, make them feel that you are a proud happy parent/teacher
3. Insist on positive language; criticize action and not the
child. Avoid sarcasm
4. Let the child understand the values in life. Set limits;
fulfill commitments to the extent of status levels so as not
to let him fly high
5. Let the child develop sense of knowledge, feel capable and
disciplined.
6. Teach the power of self esteem to contribute to a child’s
happiness and emotional well being
WHITE LIES AS TIME FLIES!!!
Think! Why to lie?
Children lie for a variety of reasons. They lie to keep their
parents happy with them, they lie so they won't get in trouble,
they lie to cover embarrassment or inadequacy, or they lie because
they don't make the clear distinction between fact and fiction.
Don't play detective.
Don't ask questions that set your child up to lie. When your
child has chocolate on his face and the chocolate is missing,
don't ask, "Did you eat that candy bar that was placed
in the box?" Instead make a statement of fact; "I'm
disappointed that you ate the candy bar without asking. That
will be your snack for today." If your child says, "I
didn't." Don't play twenty questions, just state the facts,
"The chocolate is gone, and there's chocolate on your face.
Why don't you go up to your room for a while and come on back
down when you want to talk about it."
Spend time on solutions.
Focus on finding a solution instead of laying blame. "Regardless
of how it happened, the vase is broken. What are we going to
do about it?" Be honest and straightforward
If you're not sure if your child is lying make an honest statement,
"That doesn't sound like the truth to me."
Don't start the 'off the hook' mistake.
Resist the urge to lecture if your child comes to you with the
truth,. Thank the child for telling you and then focus on finding
a solution or imposing a necessary consequence, without anger.
Don't make the mistake of saying, "If you tell the truth,
you won't be punished." We all make mistakes, and owning
up to them can be difficult, but we still need to accept responsibility
for our actions. As an adult, if you're driving your car and
hit someone's car in the parking lot, you are not "off
the hook" if you own up to your mistake, but you can be
in serious trouble if you are caught in a "hit and run."
So avoid the trap of saying, "When you tell the truth,
you'll be off the hook," instead, think of it this way,
"If you lie, you'll be in even bigger trouble!"
Review your expectations.
Kids sometimes lie because they feel they're not meeting your
expectations, and they think it's easier to lie than feel like
a failure. Take a look at how you respond to your child's mistakes
or inadequacies, and make sure you leave room for imperfections.
Model truthfulness.
When your child hears you telling those innocent "little
white lies," you are teaching your child something about
honesty. What "little white lies" do I mean? Having
your child tell someone on the phone that you're not home so
that you don't have to talk. Shrinking your child's age so that
you can get the cheaper rate at the movies, the amusement park,
or at a restaurant. You are teaching your child all the time,
whether you plan it or not.
Formed a pattern?
If your child develops a pattern of lying, or lies about important
things, and is persistent about continuing the lie even after
the truth is discovered, it would be wise for you to seek the
advice of a professional. A counselor can help you find someone
to talk to.
Ilaxi
Sudhir Patel is a Journalist Writer for Freesouls (Print media)
for Sambhaav Newspapers in Gujarat, India. Also Editor Online
& CEO for www.sambhaav.com
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