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FAMILY
THERAPLAY -
PROMOTING HEALTHY PARENT-CHILD ATTACHMENT
By
Linda Aber, CCFE Therapy Specialist
tactics@videotron.ca
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Attachment
begins at infancy with touch and nurturing.
When an infant cries and is comforted by his mother, he feels
secure. During the
course of the day, there are hundreds of pleasurable, interpersonal
activities that are initiated between mother and infant that foster
attunement. Some playful activities are: playing peek-a-boo, blowing
on his tummy, playing Älittle piggy¥ and gently bunting foreheads.
They are enhanced and stimulated, by motherïs smiles, touch,
winks, cooing, baby talk and singing.
These playful activities, both engaging and nurturing increase
security and attachment. Thus,
resulting parent behavior has a direct effect on the infant.
Is
it any surprise that play between parents and children is one
of the most important aspects in their relationship?
During the childïs developmental stages, as toddler, preschooler,
school age and adolescent, parents can lose their desire to play.
The stressors of everyday life, such as work load, bills,
crises and your childïs developmental; stage, add to this decline
in parentïs playfulness.
With
their childrenïs developing independence, eagerness to explore
the world, incompetent and noncompliant behavior, parents begin
to wear many hats. There
is a strong tendency to don the teacher and disciplinarian hats,
without balancing the magic of playful attunement.
The use of structure without nurturance, can produce angry,
resentful children. Sadly,
the play hat tends to quietly sit and gather dust, too many excuses
for its lack of use. Itïs engaging, contagious power of joy and laughter, that magical
glue that connects and deepens parent-child relationships, is
omitted. This key
ingredient is crucial for attunement.
Theraplay,
parent-child sessions, enhances attachment and self esteem.
Guided by the Theraplay specialist, both parents and children
are joyfully engaged, through physical, lively and fun activities.
Attunement is central to the process, resulting in more
positive, warm and rewarding relationships.
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I
tried to teach my child from books,
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He
gave me only puzzled looks.
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I
tried to teach my child from words,
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They
pass him by, oft unheard.
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Despairingly,
I turned aside,
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How
shall I teach this child I cried?
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Into
my hands, he placed the key,
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Come,
he said, ÄPlay with me.¥
-
Landreth
1994
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